If you didn’t guess it, the beautiful flowers in the image above are flowers to make me feel better. This is a weird one. Originally, I had another blog post planned, but things as you know don’t always go to plan.
So, let’s get to talking about what happened today. I work, well worked* for a social media company, and for a while I really loved it. I loved having the 9-5 working pattern, I enjoyed what it was I was doing, and I thought I had it made because the people I worked with are really nice.
After a while, I felt myself being less and less creative, I wasn’t posting on my blog, my ideas were slowly disappearing and all I was focusing on was finishing work. I started counting down the minutes until 5pm, looking forward to the weekend far too much and getting that ‘Sunday dread’ where you really really don’t want to go in tomorrow morning.
Anyway after a month or so of this, I decided that it wasn’t for me, my heart wasn’t really in it, I would so much rather work toward being my own boss and I just felt like I couldn’t really do it there. So, with much deliberation I handed in my notice, which meant that I had to work my notice period of 3 months (I know, soooo long!) so it didn’t feel like this immediate relief I was expecting, it just kind of felt the same.
I was feeling really miserable going in, and I found myself crying in the toilet whilst I was in work because I just hated it so much, and that’s really sad. I have no job prospects, and not a lot of money saved, so really I don’t know what I’m doing. However, today I felt I just had no choice, I went in and my manager asked to talk to me, and I was like yes sure, following him out of the office in a good mood at work (for once!) and it just wasn’t a conversation I was happy about. I think it just brought to life everything I was feeling, in regards to how I was being treated differently from other staff members, and how I had started to feel like this definitely wasn’t the place for me to work anymore.
There’s so much more as to why I quit my job, but it’s just too long to write down. However, I felt like if you wanted something real to read, and to see that you don’t always have to do something you hate. If something or someone is making you that miserable, don’t just quit, try and resolve it first like I did, but if in the end it gets too much I don’t want you to ever feel stuck.
Alternatively, I wrote this to vent, and thought it would be some kind of solace to you if you are having a really bad day, to read this and think wow maybe today isn’t too bad and we can laugh at the horrendous day I’ve had together. 😊
So yes, I write this currently unemployed but feeling more calm then I have in a while. What a strange feeling?
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Also if you haven’t noticed, I am posting every 2 days now for the foreseeable future!
Love as always,