Defining Sexy

Hey there,

As you can probably see this is the first post of the year for me! I was waiting for a bit of inspiration. I hope you like this article and can take something from it! There will be some fun posts coming up next week, promise!

Defining Sexy

So, I came across an essay written for ‘Lenny’ by Emily Ratajkowski the other day, and I can say that it was great. I thought the essay was a real eye opener, and I think pretty much everyone should read it. It will give you an insight into what it’s like to be a woman in this day and age, and what the real meaning of sexiness is, and how important it is to define that in your own terms.

This piece really got me thinking, what does sexiness mean to you? It’s a simple enough question. I was doing a little bit of research for this article, and came across a women’s magazine telling us what men find sexy about women, and here are some of the answers, 1. Looking polished 2. Not too much makeup 3. Not swearing 4. Not being too needy 5. Wavy hair. These are just five out of the 10 answers, and I can tell you out of the 10 answers the majority of them are about being aesthetically pleasing. Thanks for the tips guys, but I’m pretty sure we should be sexy for ourselves and not tailor our appearance and personalities for anyone else, even though I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of that at least once.

So what if you say f*** a little too much, I know I have been accused of having a bit of a tendency to swear, not a great habit, but should I care that a guy would think of me as less sexy because of that? I’d hope not. Whilst I wouldn’t call myself a feminist, I believe in women and their right to feel confident, to self express and to fulfill their ideals on what it means to be sexy, so I looked at another source and found what women think it is to be sexy for themselves, and here are some of the answers. 1. Feeling confident 2. Intelligence 3. Being comfortable in their own skin. Now these are the three main things I found, and I wanted to talk about. Sexiness is something that is ‘wonderfully female’ as Emily Ratajkowski explained in her essay, and something that should be celebrated alongside every other aspect of someone’s personality. Sexiness doesn’t just have to be about lingerie, strippers or be soley based around a naked body. I feel sexy when I feel confident, because I feel confidence is a really empowering thing. Now, don’t get me wrong I too feel sexy with a tan, a statement lipstick, but I don’t need that to be the only reason I feel ‘sexy’.

Now, hopefully you’re reading this piece in some agreement, whether you’re male or female. There is one specific thing I want you to take from this, and that’s to just celebrate eachother. Whilst whistling in the street if you’re a male and think it should be seen as a form of flattery, I just think it’s rude to be wolf whistled at and it makes me feel uncomfortable, it doesn’t make me feel sexy. As for us women, we need to celebrate each other instead of judge. I read a particularly fitting quote the other week that read, ‘We judge others for their behaviour and ourselves by our intentions’. It’s never nice to be judged, and it doesn’t feel good to judge others either, this week try and use social media as a platform for kindness and celebrating sexiness in your own way, and know that it is every woman’s right to choose how they define ‘sexy’. One last thing, don’t ever compare yourself to someone else, it only breeds negativity, and I bet we are all beautiful in a way that somebody else wishes they could be.

How do you define sexy?


Thirsty For Thought.


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